Friday, 16 January 2009

Farewell Niña

Wednesday afternoon she was rushed to the hospital because she was coughing up blood. Her parents and brothers were not very bothered because the amount of blood she expelled was not as much as before. They said they had had worse scare. They were confident that she would be discharged in no time. Little did they know that her body could not hold out anymore – at the early morn of Friday, she expired her last breath.

When I received the sad news this morning I called my Mama right away. I was more concerned of consoling her, sure that she must be crying and very affected of the news. Niña is very dear to my Mama’s heart because when Niña had worked in Cebu (before the onslaught of her sickness) she had visited my Mama a couple of times just to say Hi and to keep her company. Mama has nothing but praises for Niña and always says that she’s the nicest of all her nieces and nephews.
After talking to Mama I spent the rest of the morning trying to book a flight to Ozamis so she can attend the wake. After that I somehow forgot about the situation because I got tied up in creating a build due for release COP (close of play) today. It was only when I got home, the moment I opened the door to my empty apartment, when the truth sank in. I felt this overwhelming bout of sadness and disbelief that my God, she is gone. I couldn't help but whine to God above why He took her so soon. 

She did not deserve to die! Oh okay no one else does but I daresay she was more deserving to live than most people. She didn’t even reach her 29th birthday (supposedly this 18th). If she did not have that illness she would have been right now worrying about the same mundane stuff any other girls our age are concerning themselves of. She was not given the chance to worry more about her career, when to marry and how many kids to have someday. She was still too young to die. It’s really unfair!

Her illness kept her bedridden for 10 months. On some lucky days she wasn’t in much pain and could go out of her room and watch TV in their sala. What she had was a severe case of Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. It was already malignant when it had been diagnosed and the doctor said she would be lucky to live up to a year even without missing her medications. A daily dose of Sildenafil (aka Viagra) and some other pills just alleviated the symptoms. Only a lung transplant offers possibility of a cure. 

At least she is not suffering anymore where she is now.  I am sure she’s in heaven because if you think I am good person, well she was 1 million times nicer, a better person than me. Yes, she is now in heaven.

Before you go sleep tonight please utter some words of prayer for the eternal repose of my dear cousin’s soul. Please also pray for her loved ones who are left behind – especially courage for her parents so that they can survive this great loss.  If I am this sad I just can’t imagine the extent of heartbreak my Auntie and Uncle must be feeling right now. Because the most painful grief a parent can feel is when they have to bury their own beloved child. Please pray for them.

Remember your life is a precious gift. Live each day never forgetting that.

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