Breaking down the walls

I am a very private person. Or I was... I used to be. I used to think I should always project this image of toughness, an aura of invulnerability. So I used to wear layers and layers of armors. I used to hide behind walls. Because I didn't want anybody to get too close for comfort. Even my closest friends they just have come to know the real me gradually or just recently, because I accidentally slipped out bits and pieces of my life's stories during the times we spent together.

To bare my soul to someone used to be a big no-no in my vocabulary. I would usually cringe whenever I happened to disclose a little bit more than what I had intended to share. Because I thought that telling that someone about my past, my fears, my dreams and my worries I would be giving him/her the ammunition to hurt me. Oh I guess, it's human nature to cocoon their feelings to protect themselves.

And yes it was effective. Nobody got the chance to hurt me to the point of leaving me hopelessly devastated and beyond repair. But I also realized nobody did know the real me. Nobody knew how truly gorgeous I am (hahaha gusto pa talagang isingit to o :-p). That realization left me utterly empty.

So now I am starting to share little bits and pieces of myself to my friends. I'd rather risk getting hurt than living and dying alone and unknown. But more importantly, I am tearing down these walls for Him. Because in the end, after the last wall crumbles, I am confident He will still love me and embrace me, warts and all.