Wednesday 26 March 2008

Playing Guidance Counsellor

Sugar and I have twelve years between us. She's still in highschool while I can't even remember anymore what I did in highschool. It was forgettable because I was forgettable. I was just an awkward, bony (though my curves showed up later, along with unwanted bilbils) and kutu-on girl (yep fleas-infested but I assure you, not anymore!). I just wanted to be left alone, terribly shy of the limelight (well it was not as if anybody wanted turn the spotlight my way.) Sugar on the other hand is different based on the reports from my Mom. She's an achiever, a Quadrant-1 kid. And like any other Ate, I am proud of her.

Since I have been here in London we managed to keep in touch more frequently than I was in Manila. All thanks to my company, very kind indeed not to ban IMs! So what do two people, with a generation gap between them talk about? No, we don't talk about boys. She's still innocent, I think! I hope she has sense enough to stay that way until she finishes college. But nah, with today's media influence that might be like wishing for the crow to turn white (nga moputi ang uwak ba). We don't talk about boys. Not yet anyway.

We just talk about her school because that's where her world revolves around now. About how some of her mean classmates tend to be yeah, mean to her. How she's affected by their pranks. And how miserable she sometimes is because of them. Oh phulleaasse, how serious can that be? Mean kids at school? It's not even 10% close to Global Warming or War in Iraq in magnitude? Why oh why does she have to make such a fuss about that?

Because she's still a kid. And it's not right to shrug off a kid's worry as insignificant. They might resort to actions you would regret. Or worse, go to gun down her class in a shooting frenzy before committing suicide... oh knock on wood!

And so I, naturally she looks up to me because of the fact that I'm her Ate (nothing she can do about that), listen to her patiently. After she's done pouring her heart out, I try to give her advices. I give her words of wisdom, which typing them gives me the creeps. Why the creeps? Judge for yourself, as I list some of these words of wisdom...

  • Don't judge others, you don't know who they really are. You don't know what they're going through in their homes. Maybe they're just misunderstood.
  • Yes, perhaps they envy you. But don't get that into your head. Don't act as if you're better than them, maybe that's the reason why they hate you. Be humble.
  • Don't fight fire with fire. Don't dance their tune. Maybe if you'll start being nice to them, they'll reciprocate the niceness. Lead by example.

Feeling the creeps? If you're not, well I am... Ka-hilas jud nako oi, kilatan baya ko! But what else can I say except give her those words of wisdom? Why not share to her the stuffs I picked up during the twelve years lead? I have to be a good Ate. Never mind that I myself is still having difficulty practicing any of them . She doesn't need to know that :p

Whenever I am suffering this ala-Dalai Lama or Oprah catatonia, my sister would just listen to me, assenting that I am, what else, right. At least that's what it always seems at my end. Never mind that I can't see her if she ever stick out her tongue in disgust. Well she's smart enough to know she has no choice but to agree and hail me as not only drop dead gorgeous but also an amazingly wise sister. Or else she'll receive no allowance!

If I am having a difficulty taking on this role of a "wise" older sibling, how much more raising my own kids someday? That not only my words but also my actions my kids will be eyeing for guidance? So good luck to all my friends who have their broods now. I bet you need more than luck. You need hard work!

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